September 2011
2 posts
UN Chief: Sustainable Development First & Greatest... →
So glad
1 tag
Missing someone
How do I put it? Missing someone is deeper than missing anything else… It’s not as urgent, nor as abrupt as missing things, like ‘SHIT I NEEDS MY AIRCONDITIONING & I NEEDS IT NOW. It’s a deeper, more fundamental piece of me that keeps going, ‘Oh that’s right, Janel’s gone, won’t be able to share this piece of $#@! news with her..’ and...
October 2010
1 post
Hell is others
…“hell is other people” has always been misunderstood. It has been thought that what I meant by that was that our relations with other people are always poisoned, that they are invariably hellish relations. But what I really mean is something totally different. I mean that if relations with someone else are twisted, vitiated, then that other person can only be hell. Why? Because…when we think...
January 2010
3 posts
“I want to reconcile the violence in your heart/ I want to recognise your...”
– Undisclosed Desires, The Resistance, Muse
Time & again
I manage to redefine disappointment. I wonder why it is my life seems to be an endless series of me disappointing people: Frau Schraudolph, my mother, my friends & myself. Are their expectations too high or does the fault lie with me? Or maybe I should stop promising things to other people. Maybe I should be upfront about my capabilities & handicaps (myself & myself, respectively)....
Dark Blue
Yes, Mr. Jack’s Mannequin, I have been alone in a crowded room.
This feeling is not quite as unpleasant as I’d thought it’d be. I suppose it helps that the room is crowded with people whom I just don’t adore.
Just as long as this place has got a door.
December 2009
3 posts
“Don’t you take chances/ Might feel the pain/ Don’t you love in vain/...”
– Leona Lewis, Happy
Pride in Performance
Is the Bangladeshi worker below my flat now, lugging his bike, bucket of soapy water and a washcloth around.
Painstakingly washing every car he’s been paid to. Polishing each & every car to its spotless state, restoring every single one of them to a level of cleanliness that the owner will gleefully take credit for in the morning, bragging to all his friends and their mothers about how...
Copenhagen
How can you all be so selfish? Don’t you see? How can you bear to be so indirectly cruel?
This entire situation is just so ridiculously tragic. This definitely ranks among the best tragecomedies I’ve ever watched in my life.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/copenhagen/article6960419.ece
The way they are all, each and every one of them, so unwilling to step up and...
November 2009
2 posts
Loneliness
I have recently had cause to think about this… monster that won’t get off everyone’s backs. Not just because of my crazy/ beautiful friend — she is, in fact, in possession of one of my favorite minds on the planet — who seems messed up with it, but because I myself am lugging this shit around with me, and who am I kidding, it’s not just the two of us, it’s...
“Is there anyone who isn’t crazy with loneliness?”
– Karen Brichoux, Coffee & Kung Fu
September 2009
6 posts
1 tag
Metal and gloom
Pop-rock and laughter
I wanna spend my life with you
Unhappily ever after
p.s. These are part of the single set of lyrics I will set to 10 different tunes, which will together make up my album.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might...”
– American poet and abolitionist John Greenleaf Whittier (1807-1892)
Regrets
Is the sum of all regrets in the world 0, do you think? Is it possible that each one could cancel out an equal and opposite regret?
“I wish I’d loved him” vs. “I wish I hadn’t”
“I could have done x” vs. “I could have done y” vs. “I could have not done x/y”
“I should have told her” vs. “I really...
Anywhere but here
Hilary Duff sings, “You’re burnin’ up my dreams/ Crazy as it seems/ I don’t wanna be/ Anywhere but here.”
I think that kind of exactly describes my feelings towards 504. A better alternative does not exist. Which in no way implies one couldn’t. Which is what’s getting my panties into a knot. Which I claim as a right.
For example, given half a chance,...
Saddest song I’ve ever heard. I benefit...
Human Interactions
I’ve lost track of the number of times I wished they were simpler. Why couldn’t everyone be a bit more economically inclined and realise that the simplest way to avoid all this hurt and fear and angst is just to be AS NICE AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN BE to each other?
Or maybe they ARE being economical. Maybe I’m the last one to see that selfishness is the way to go. Just like Adam...